The Spirit of Hospitality Takes Many Forms

The Spirit of Hospitality Looks Different in Every Office

I've visited hundreds of financial advisor offices over the years. High-rises in Manhattan. Converted houses in the suburbs. Coworking spaces. Office parks. And somewhere along the way, I started paying attention to something I couldn't quite name at first.

I could feel hospitality the moment I walked in.

Not always. But when it was there, I knew it immediately.

Now, I was visiting as a wholesaler—a vendor trying to get on the schedule—so I wasn't expecting the red carpet. But I started keeping mental notes anyway. I noticed everything. Some firms had receptionists, some didn't. Some had bottled water, others had sparkling water, coffee, soft drinks—each on a spectrum from generic to premium. Some had music in the lobby. Some had welcome screens with my name on them. Some had their own bathroom in the suite, others shared one down the hall.

I could see the correlation between budget and amenities. The nice office. The logo'd coffee mugs. The conference rooms with the good chairs.

But here's what surprised me: there was only a small correlation between the amenities and what I'd call genuine hospitality.

I walked into beautiful offices that felt sterile. Everything was perfect—modern furniture, beverage fridge, clean design—but something was missing. I imagined clients walking in with nerves, wondering if they were interrupting something, unsure if they were truly welcome.

And then I walked into much simpler offices that felt like joining friends for a lively conversation. You immediately felt wanted. Not just served—wanted.

That's when I realized: the amenities are often a result of hospitality, not the cause of it.

Actions of service can be completely absent of hospitality.

So what is this abstract thing I'm calling "genuine hospitality"?

Is it like charisma—something you either have or you don't?

Sort of. Some people do have it naturally. But it can also be taught. And even if you have it, you can get better at practicing it.

Hospitality is a joyful spirit of genuine concern for how you make others feel.

You see it most clearly when you visit someone's home. You can walk into a mansion with all the niceties and feel like an inconvenience. Or you can walk into a tiny cabin and feel like the most important person in the world.

The difference? When people come over, do they feel like you're genuinely glad they are there? Not just because "a guest showed up," but because they showed up. Do they feel uniquely enjoyed?

People want to be loved because they're lovable—not because a script told someone to welcome them.

I think about this with churches, too.

Decades ago, the pastor would say from the stage: "If you're visiting for the first time, come shake my hand after the service." Now, with larger churches, they've built systems: welcome desks, connection stations, first-time guest gifts.

These systems aren't bad. They solve a real problem—helping people take a next step when it's not obvious how. But just because you have a welcome desk doesn't mean you're hospitable.

Hospitality can be systematized—you can bake care into the way you do things, because it reflects who you are. A genuinely warm person at the welcome desk can be deeply hospitable.

But it's far more powerful when it's personal. When someone notices you, asks a real question, takes interest in who you are—and invites you to lunch, not because a process told them to, but because they genuinely want to.

This is what we can learn as financial advisors.

Client appreciation ideas are often like welcome desks. "We send all our clients a pie before Thanksgiving with a note thanking them for being a client."

That's nice. Clients may appreciate it. But it doesn't quite mean you're being hospitable.

The hospitable spirit is what causes you to care how each of your clients feels. You can do things that make them all feel appreciated—but you can also make them feel uniquely valuable for who they are.

Remembering that they don't like pumpkin pie and getting them apple instead. Writing them a personal note because their daughter is studying abroad and won't be home for Thanksgiving.

Hospitality can be systematized, because you care how all your clients feel. But it also needs to be personal, one-off, creative.

That happens when your entire team is transformed by the spirit of hospitality. They notice. They get creative. They care. They execute. They delight.

That spirit is what makes the difference.

I can feel it when I walk into an office.

Can your clients?